Something is happening every day – scary facts about the number of real deaths, worries about your loved ones (what if they get ‘it’?), new changes that just keep coming up.
You are still handling it, but it becomes more difficult with every day, every news update. One voice in your head is saying ‘Well, I am healthy, my family is healthy, at least I have a job, things will go better, we’ve been through worse stuff’. Another voice is very scared, very reactive, the one that brings that anxiety right back to the same level where you were before you talked yourself out of it.
First of all, you have to understand that it’s normal to feel this way in this situation. It’s normal to worry about your family, to feel stressed about your work and uncertainty about your work and financial situation.
Many of us are taught to always look at the bright sides and it’s been working for us, however in this situation, when you experience losses – people, jobs, freedom to travel, social gathering it’s normal to feel sad. Sadness is part of the grieving process. After that comes acceptance, you integrate this into your life. But if things just keep coming up, there is not enough time to integrate it, so you start over again. And with each cycle anxiety goes to the next level.
When we worry about something the last thing we think is self-care, and that’s exactly what we need to do when we are stressed. Imagine a scale, the more challenges you facing in your life the more you have to take care of your physical and mental health, to keep the balance.
Do you sleep well? Do you have routine strategies to regain the balance? Do you eat healthy food? Are you working out? Do you reach out to connect with people? Do you remind yourself what you still have in your life, what you are grateful for?
With all the losses we all are experiencing right now, it’s good to remind yourself what you still have. Your partner who is standing by you, your kids, your house, your health? I feel great full even for what we are going through right now because it showed me how connected we are, how much compassion and kindness are still in us.
One of my teachers gave me an idea to write 3 things every day you are grateful for. Today I am grateful for: good coffee that my partner prepares for me every day, my cat who doesn’t care about the pandemic and just continues doing her usual things and the delicious caramelized Brussels sprouts with Italian sausage that my friend cooked for me tonight because I felt under the weather. What are you grateful for today? Join me on Facebook, I would be happy to hear what you are grateful for.
I know that many of us are taught to take care of others first, that’s why we often find own need on the bottom of that list. There is something or someone whose needs and wants are more important. So our turn never comes and we often find ourselves stressed, tired and overwhelmed. That’s why we need to build that confidence within ourselves so we feel we also deserve to take a break, go for a walk, do something for yourself.
Stressful times are always a test of our relationships. This is the time when we become our true self, it shows our capacity for regulating our emotions, self-acceptance, capacity for compassion and understanding. It brings our fears and insecurities.
If you are in a relationship did your bond became stronger? Did you find yourself willing to help when you see someone in need? I think these challenging times a great opportunity to learn about yourself and your relationship and get in touch with those parts that are normally not shown. If you like what you see, great, you’ve got another brick into confidence in yourself and your relaionship. If not, maybe it’s the time to bring it into focus and make some changes.