You function well, you have a job, good friends and a loving family. Life is good. Why do you feel like a mess inside though? Where are all these strong emotions coming from? Why do you feel so unsettled? All these worries, self-doubts, unexpected guilt, annoying self-critic – they all drain your energy and prevent to fully enjoy what you have. Maybe it’s your past traumas still show up in your present? How to know if you were traumatized as a child?
As a child, you might have you experienced an extremely stressful or disturbing event in the past that made you feel extremely angry or scared or left you helpless or confused (if a source of danger was a parent). Back then you didn’t’ know how to deal with it due to limited life experience and undeveloped mental capacity. For an adult, the same event could have gone unnoticed, but for a child, it could leave a very deep wound.
Traumatic experiences are not about an event itself though but your reaction to that event. Even siblings react differently to the same family events. Most likely you still have unprocessed emotions if you –
If you still feel hurt, angry, upset – it’s a clue to your past. It’s the door to address your old traumas. If you leave it unhealed you would experience those upsetting emotions over and over again. When you scratch your finger and if you don’t disturb it the wound heals at some point. Unfortunately, emotional traumas are relational, and we are being triggered all the time, so the wound it constantly disturbed and never heals. We need to go back and process what you were not able to process as a child.
We live in a culture of traumatized people. Trauma is so common in our society that we don’t even pay attention to it. We work really hard not to notice how much it affects everything we do. Unhealed traumas limit us in many ways. We avoid people and situations that trigger us. Are you afraid to get too close to people because someone betrayed you in the past? You don’t apply for a better position even if you are totally qualified for it? Do you hesitate to start a business because your parents valued security and taught you to play safe?
In my counselling sessions, we will explore those mental block, work on relieving the triggers, challenging old beliefs and building strengths so you can start finally the process of healing those wounds.